Passage I

Jacob Neusner

[1] We the faculty take no pride in our educational achievement with you. We have prepared you for a world that does not exist, indeed, that cannot exist. You have spent four years supposing that failure leaves no record. ^[N] You have learned at Brown that when your work goes poorly, the painless solution is to drop out. But starting now, in the world to which you go, failure marks ^[N] you. Confronting difficulty by quitting leaves you changed ^[N] . Outside Brown, quitters are no heroes.

[2] With us you could argue about why your errors were not errors, why mediocre work really was excellent, why you could take pride in routine ^[N] and slipshod presentation . Most of you, after all, can look back on honor grades ^[N] for most of what you have done. So, here grades can have meant little in distinguishing the excellent from the ordinary. But tomorrow, in the world to which you go, you had better not defend errors but learn from them ^[N] . You will be ill-advised ^[N] to demand praise for what does not deserve it, and abuse ^[N] those who do not give it.

[3] For years we created an altogether forgiving world, in which whatever slight effort you gave was all that was demanded. When you did not keep appointments, we made new ones. When your work came in beyond the deadline , we pretended not to care.

[4] Worse still, when you were boring, we acted as if you were saying something important. When you were garrulous and talked to hear yourselves talk ^[N] , we listened as if it mattered. When you tossed on our desks writing upon which you had not labored ^[N] , we read it and even responded, as though you earned a response. When you were dull, we pretended you were smart. When you were predictable ^[N] , unimaginative and routine, we listened as if to new and wonderful things. When you demanded free lunch ^[N] , we served it. And all this why? ^[N]

[5] Despite your fantasies , it was not even that we wanted to be liked by you. It was that ^[N] we did not want to be bothered, and the easy way out was pretense : smiles and easy Bs ^[N] .

[6] It is conventional to quote in addresses such as these. Let me quote someone you've never heard of: Professor Carter A. Daniel, Rutgers University: "College has spoiled you by reading papers that don't deserve to be read, listening to comments that don't deserve a hearing, paying attention even to the lazy, ill-informed and rude. We had to do it, for the sake of education. But nobody will ever do it again. College has deprived you of adequate preparation for the last 50 years. It has failed ^[N] you by being easy, free, forgiving, attentive, comfortable, interesting, unchallenging fun. Good luck tomorrow."

[7] That is why, on this commencement day, we have nothing in which to take much pride.

[8] Oh, yes, there is one more thing. Try not to act toward your co-workers and bosses as you have acted toward us. I mean, when they give you what you want but have not earned, don't abuse them, insult them, act out with them your parlous relationships with your parents. This ^[N] too we have tolerated. It ^[N] was, as I said, not to be liked. Few professors actually care whether or not they are liked by peer-paralyzed adolescents ^[N] , fools so shallow as to imagine professors care not about education but about popularity. It was, again, to be rid of you. ^[N] So go, unlearn the lies we taught you. To life! ^[N]

Passage II

College: An All-forgiving World? ^[N]

Ida Timothee

[9] In "The Commencement Speech You'll Never Hear", Jacob Neusner argues that we have been made to believe, according to our college experience, that "failure leaves no record" (paragraph 1) and that things can be easily achieved. It seems to Neusner that college is not a good preparatory school for life because it is making us ready "for a world that does not exist" (paragraph 1).

[10] There's no doubt that Neusner should have taken a closer look at what college life is really like before formulating such a strong opinion about it. He is completely ignoring all the pressures and hard times students go through to make it at college. It is not the way he describes it at all.

[11] Is college not preparing us for real life, as Neusner puts ^[N] it? Is what we are experiencing something not useful to learn for the real world? ^[N] These are questions that pop into my mind when I think about what Neusner says. I think that he is very wrong. The college years, for many of us, are when we start to be independent, make crucial decisions on our own, and become responsible for them. At college, we must learn to budget our time (and money!) and to be tolerant (otherwise we wouldn't survive in a crowded triple room!). We meet people from different parts of the world that broaden our view of the world itself and help us understand each other better. If these things are not useful for the real world, then I don't know what could be ^[N] .

[12] Neusner believes that in college we are trained to think that "failure leaves no record" because we can supposedly get away with mistakes easily. I have news for him. If you fail a test, you can't take it again, or the teacher won't erase the grade even if he thinks you will hate him for the rest of your life. If you drop out of a class, next semester you will have to take more courses. If you get low grades, your chances of getting into a fine graduate school are almost none ^[N] . If your grade-point average ^[N] is not reasonably high for a number of classes, you just don't get your degree. When midterms and finals come, no one can avoid taking them. When the going gets tough, the tough have to get down to work ^[N] because, unlike what Neusner believes, college does not give "painless" solutions to mistakes (paragraph 1). It is not "an altogether forgiving world," and by no means have teachers "pretended not to care" (paragraph 3) when deadlines are not kept or when things aren't done at the time they are supposed to be.

[13] To me, living in a crowded triple, having a one-day reading period before finals, tons of readings, papers, and midterms due the same week are not exactly my idea of "easy, free, forgiving, attentive, comfortable, interesting, unchallenging fun"(paragraph 6). (1072 words)